Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Holidays and Queer Family

One of the greatest things about being trans/queer is the family that we get to create with each other. Because we share a very experience of exclusion, when we come together we are able to form strong bonds with each other very quickly, even if otherwise our personalities are very different or even incompatible. Unfortunately, there tends to be a strong division between chosen family and bio family. Nothing brings out that division like the holidays. Queers who get along with living bio family (at least well enough to spend time with them) spend the time with them, often leaving the city centers where we tend to congregate, whereas queers without a bio family to spend time with often get left alone for the holidays.

This past xmas I got to combine the two families. I am lucky enough to have parents who support who I am, to live in the same city that I grew up in, and to have lots of wonderful friends, so I've made it a habit of inviting any of my friends who don't have a nearby bio family over to my parents' place for holidays. So on xmas I had two wonderful friends over. One friend, whose family is deceased, stayed over with us on xmas eve and spent all of xmas day with us. Also, another friend ended up at our house because she was supposed to spend xmas with her partner's family, but they ended up having a fight at the last minute. Both of these friends are dear to my heart and definitely part of my queer chosen family here in Boston. I have to admit that, as much as I wish the one friend had a bio family to spend time with and the other didn't have to fight with her partner, I was pleased as eggnog that their circumstances landed them at xmas with me. We opened presents, played Carcassonne (a nerdy board game, don't judge me), drank tea, played Carcassonne, watched the Venture Bros., and played Carcassonne. We played a ton of games of Carcassonne, seriously.

There wasn't really anything remarkable about this xmas with my parents and two wonderful friends. We just sat around in our PJ's and didn't do much of anything. I'm not going to have any real stories to tell at parties or anywhere else from it. But it was still one of the best days I've had in a while. Being close to these two wonderful queers makes me happy. It's ironic how unremarkable that phrase, “makes me happy,” sounds, because I really don't think the importance of it can be overstated. I wouldn't know or be close to these two friends, or many other friends that I have, if it weren't for sharing the bond of transness, and being close to them makes me happy.

Who makes you feel happy?

Keeping it pink with holiday love,

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